Two Uncomplicated Pregnancies
Two uncomplicated pregnancies, two
easy deliveries, and two quick recoveries. This is what
ran through my mind as I read an article about surrogacy
in a Chicago Tribune article in the summer of 2013. I
could give no good reason as to why I shouldn’t become a
surrogate. After a discussion with my husband, we knew
this was a good choice for us to make.
When my oldest son was one, he and I were playing at a neighborhood park. A father was there with his slightly younger son. Through conversation, I learned that his son was born via a surrogate. They were encouraged to ask anyone and everyone if they would want to carry their child. This couple ended up using a waitress at their favorite restaurant. I thought to myself, I think I could do that.
Fast forward a few years to when my youngest son was two. My husband and I decided our family was complete. However, when I read the Tribune article, I remembered the father and son in the park, and knew that this was something I was meant to do. Just because our family was complete, didn’t mean we couldn’t help one that wasn’t.
Within the next week, I had researched Parenting Partners and became familiar with the wonderful work that Shirley Zager has done. The thought of a smaller, more personal agency was more appealing to me that a larger-“what’s-your-name-again?” one. After submitting my application and meeting with Shirley, I signed up as a surrogate. It took a little over three months for us to get matched. Shirley called about every other week during that time assuring us that she didn’t want to match us with just any couple. Rather she wanted to make sure that the values and ideals we had aligned with that of the intended parent(s). We couldn’t have been more pleased with this.
In January 2014, we were matched with the family we ended up being a surrogate for. At the time, they were living internationally, but thanks to Skype and several e-mails, we hit it off. Although the embryo transfer in April did not take, we were not discouraged. Our second attempt in July was successful.
Just as I had imagined and hoped, this was another uncomplicated pregnancy – and on April 6, 2015, after an easy birth, a baby girl was delivered to the parents who had been waiting a long time to meet her.
A good deal of work does go into being a surrogate. There are appointments and many phone calls regarding fertility clinics, doctors, attorneys, insurance, and escrow agencies. The ability to be organized and stay on a medication schedule is of the upmost importance. But seeing the look on the parents’ faces the first time they held their daughter made it all worth the effort.
While I was pregnant, many people asked me if I was going to have trouble not keeping the baby. I could see how this may be a difficult decision for some. However, I went into this process knowing that the child I was carrying was not my own. I was very secure in my decision, which made the entire process all the easier. I would encourage any woman thinking about being a surrogate to be sure she can do the same.